Thoughts for the Day

We are living in times of great uncertainty and our emotional responses can be exaggerated and all over the place. I am intending to share some ideas on how we can foster improved mental health as well as discover and use our strengths.

Change, perceived or real, can stress us at many levels. This is part of the human condition and can be experienced in many ways - positive/negative and everything in between. One of the greatest hazards can be the loss of a sense of safety as the status quo shifts or becomes fluid. Our thresholds vary and are as unique as each one of us. It is important to remember that self-awareness can be an essential ingredient for resilience. If we know our strengths and weaknesses we have a wider perspective on ways we are affected by external uncertainty. To put it simply “it’s an inside job.”

Here are some questions that can help increase our self-awareness.

Where do I get my strength? (For example, this might be family, faith, experience, etc.)

    When/how do I feel most vulnerable?

How do I take care of myself?

It is important to notice that your answers may change depending on the situation. Set aside judging yourself as much as you can and try to be honest! I use to tell my kiddos … be your own best friend!

The following are some ways to improve coping with change/uncertainty. These are strategies to put what you learned through the questions to good use. For many of you these will not be new…consider them a reminder.

Attend to your physical health - These are the tried-and-true building blocks: getting solid sleep, nutrition, exercise.

Know your emotions - Understand how you react, to what, and why. This is a first step to self-regulation.  Our feelings can be our friends but they don’t have to drive our responses, actions, and stress levels.

Cultivate good cognition - We can feed healthy thinking by correcting negative patterns of thought. Resting, reading, music, meditating, conversing, writing, and therapy are some choices.

Build your system of belief and spirituality - Individual and communal, this will clarify your values and identify various paths to create or strengthen foundational security. Paradoxicall , surrender can open the way for hope.

Identify how you self-soothe -The sources can vary widely. Some examples might include turning to family, friends, prayer, nature, pets, sleep, art, hobbies etc. You are the one in charge here. Put yourself first.

Prioritize and balance when possible - Life can feel overwhelming just by the quantity and volume of inputs. These are the “too many balls in the air”, the “plate is too full,” or the “too much” sensations. Saying NO is a powerful way to deal with competing demands and overload. For me, I rely more on changing my perspective on time. If I become immobile with too much, I try to shift time to what I can manage. For example, I will focus on this week (or day, hour) rather than a longer or bigger view that seems incomprehensible. I also pace myself to avoid exhaustion. Develop what works for you. Sometimes it comes down to a question …A year (or more) from now looking back will it matter and will I believe I had integrity in my decisions?

Develop your support system - There are many forms of support - heath care teams, friendships, family, neighborhood, community, spiritual, hobby, and work groups, therapy, etc. You don’t have to go it alone. Connections are essential for humans.

Play - Children express this inherently. It is about creativity, healing and growth. As adults we tend to minimize play, dismissing it as frivolous. It can, however,  be an endless source of renewal. Find what feels like play or “fun” for you. Try it without judging yourself negatively. You will be surprised at what this offers. For me, play is my 2nd most critical self-care strategy (1st being sleep). This is why time with Pearl, my horse, is of daily importance! It is about cultivating laughter and joy.

When you consider all of these strategies and the various ways you are in charge of your health and coping plan, you will probably feel some empowerment to create your own tapestry of elements that will comfort and sustain you during challenging, changing, or uncertain circumstances. It is important to remember that your plan will ever need adjusting - always requiring attention. Heighten your focus on these when you feel restless, tired, unsettled, furious, or afraid.

The last crazy idea, upon which I personally depend, is in the acronym  -  F.E.A.R. Generally, it means Forgetting that Everything is Already Right! I am not intending to sugar-coat challenges with this so much as to emphasize that we have far more personal agency than we realize. It is an “inside” job. Our awareness of this puts us more in charge and less the victim.

So Go forth and slay dragons or Retreat to the cave. There are many timely choices in whatever suits you best. Take good care and be gentle with yourself because, ultimately, you matter.